Valentine’s Day is really not that big of a deal.
As long as you get me chocolates and roses and organise a romantic meal, k?
You didn’t? It’s ok, I was just joking.
Seriously, I’m that super easy girlfriend who just doesn’t need that stuff. I promise.
Yes, it’s totally fine if you watch the football (nervy laughter).
But look babe, look what I bought today.
What’s that you say? I suppose I might have looked a bit strange buying knives, bleach and industrial plastic bags.
That noise? Oh, yeah. I also bought some pet pigs.
Well, because they’re awesome. I Googled great facts about them. Did you know they can eat bones?
Yep, just eat ’em right up.
Where are you going?
To the shops? Oh, ok. Love you, miss you already, don’t be long – I would HATE for you to miss the start of the footy.